Blame it on the radiation!

“Blame It On The Bossa Nova”

(Barry Mann and Cynthia Weil)

 

I was at a dance when he caught my eye Standin’ all alone lookin’ sad and shy
We began to dance, swaying’ to and fro
And soon I knew I’d never let him go

Blame it on the bossa nova with its magic spell
Blame it on the bossa nova that he did so well
Oh, it all began with just one little dance
But then it ended up a big romance
Blame it on the bossa nova
The dance of love

(Now was it the moon?)
No, no, the bossa nova
(Or the stars above?)
No, no, the bossa nova
(Now was it the tune?)
Yeah, yeah, the bossa nova
(The dance of love)

Now I’m glad to say I’m his bride to be
And we’re gonna raise a family
And when our kids ask how it came about
I’m gonna say to them without a doubt

Blame it on the bossa nova with its magic spell
Blame it on the bossa nova that he did so well
Oh, it all began with just one little dance
But then it ended up a big romance
Blame it on the bossa nova
The dance of love

(Now was it the moon?)
No, no, the bossa nova
(Or the stars above?)
No, no, the bossa nova
(Now was it the tune? )
Yeah, yeah, the bossa nova
(The dance of love)(Now was it the moon?)
No, no, the bossa nova
(Or the stars above ?)

No, no, the bossa nova  (Fade)

What drives me really crazy is that if a patient has radiation, everything BAD that happens to them for the rest of their lives MUST be due to the radiation.  And it’s not just the patients that think that’s true.  It’s their referring physicians, the emergency room physicians they see in five years when they have their diverticulitis, their hair dressers, their dentists….the  list goes on and ON.

Here is my own version of this song:  you can Karaoke it but you’ll have to provide the music!

I was going for my cleaning and the dentist caught my eye.

She said, your gums are bad and your mouth is really dry.

She began to use that instrument that scrapes and makes you bleed.

I didn’t have the courage to tell her t’was my prostate got those seeds!

Blame it on the radiation!  With the killing rays.

Blame it on the radiation!  T’will be the end of days.

Oh it all began, with the big “C” word

But it ended up—Let me tell you life’s absurd!

Blame it on the radiation!   I’m in nuclear distress!

Was it my heart? (No, no, the radiation!)

I’m falling apart (Yes, yes, the radiation!)

Was it my brain? (No, no, the radiation!)

Am I insane?  (Yes, yes, the radiation!)

The rays of DOOM!

Now, I’m glad to say, that I am cured.

And I’m gonna write my blog, and make my feelings heard.

But when my friends ask how it came about,

I will be the first to shout:

It’s the acai berries, the magic mushrooms, have no doubt!

But any complications—well,

Blame it on the RADIATION!

The rays of DOOM!

 

My latest case was a man who has a very curable prostate cancer.  He’s a sweet guy, but lives alone and maybe his hygiene isn’t perfect but he tries.  On the day of his treatment planning, we photographed the area to be treated—it’s routine to do so.  My therapists noticed he had a very ugly rash on his anterior abdomen.  When he started his radiation treatments a week later, the rash was worse. I do not have the ability to look for fungal or bacterial infections in my outpatient clinic.  So I sent him back to his primary care physician for the appropriate studies to be done to determine the best treatment for this rash.

The primary care doc told the patient that his skin rash was DEFINITELY a radiation reaction. Would I send a patient with a radiation reaction back to his primary care doctor for management?  NO, I WOULD NOT! I would manage it myself, of course. This patient had only had one or two treatments.   I sent the primary care doctor the photographs from the treatment planning session with a note saying that this was not a radiation reaction—he had this rash BEFORE he had radiaton.  So far, I have not heard back from him.  But the steroids are working…..

Blame it on the radiation!  A song I know very well. Apologies to Mann and Weil!